Wednesday, 6 March 2013

Shooting From The Hip - India And The Naval Aircraft Carrier

      Crazy me!
      What does it take for a country to build a naval aircraft carrier? It takes a lot, I guess. I have known for many years that to build a naval aircraft carrier shakes a country’s budget quite noticeably. Alongwith that, probably it has to do with the sheer size, probably, of the whole project. That is why I understand India has only one aircraft carrier and that too has been obtained (I hope that is the right military word) from Russia. You know I am not connected with the India defence establishment in any way, But that does not stop me from dreaming. Stop me. Will you? I day dream once every few months since the past 20 years that India has about 100 naval aircraft carriers simply floating around on the world’s seas, you know, just like that, bus yoon hee! I mean, it’s an attitude, isn’t it? Well, to project itself in the world, one needs to project itself via the sea route also. It is very strategic, did you know that? Now, I wonder why a country like ours can’t produce a naval aircraft carrier on its own. I am floating a very bizarre idea right now.
      The idea is this: Let school children near or at our coasts congregate whenever they feel like at respective designated “joints” and start building the various pieces of the naval aircraft carrier after their school is finished on an everyday basis. They come as and when they feel like. The various pieces are joined and then we have a naval aircraft carrier! There. And then another one. Obviously you think I am crazy. I know. But if we stimulate ourselves then we can certainly expand on this dea. Lakeer kaa fakeer mat ban. Soch. It’s an attitude, isn’t it? Our 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th graders get together and start building something. And they get somethig to talk about. They enjoy. That is the attitude (AH-TITUDE) of the Indian school student. A real smart alec, just coming home a little later than usual for evening supper with bag slung over shoulder casually, the gait of a super model, and tremendously satisfied. He’s got something to talk about. Aaj maine yeh kiyaa. That is the Indian school kid at work. We have a long coast line. We got so many schools along that coastline. We got so many school students along that coast line. Well, how’s that one? Money pours in from donations. What exactly do they do? I don’t know that exactly. But I guess somebody can make an animation film to begin with, use imagination, little science fiction, and then we have a naval aircraft carrier ready at the end of the film and another one is ready to be made. it is going to be an enjoyable film. It certainy will be a hilarious one. Hilarious does not imply silly, maybe silly, not bizarre, maybe bizarre but not mocking. Yes, it is not mocking. After this animation film, certainly people will get ideas. Where it will lead to I don’t know. But it will certainly stimulate the latent hungry ‘science mein kuch karne kaa hai’ desire in those dreamy ones and give vent. Science ho, kuch ho, whatever.
      Now obviously, there will be a team of experts retired from various sections of our society and experts in various assorted (I mean associated) fields to provide guidance and logistics to the entire magnanimous gigantic project. Attendance, individual targets, minor time frame limitations (maybe none), local vendors (providing tools, minor expertise), standard refreshment arrangements, some sort of security, local bank accounts, connected with a centralised account, suitable hangars or enclosures are some of the issues.
      Yes, the district, state administrations have to provide land for the same. Suitable chunks of land shall be earmarked or “given”, at places as low as 100 sqm (10m x 10m example), at places only 1,000 sqm, at places 10,000 sqm (100m x 100m example), at places 1,00,000 sqm. and upto 10,00,000 sqm (1km x 1km example) at select few places.
      Before that we’ll need a design. Who’ll provide that design? Retired Naval Architects. But that in itself will take a lot of time. Hmm.. No, I think the retired folks will divide the work amongst themselves somehow and stay in touch amongst themselves.
      Now consider that the various pieces are being manufactured or assembled at various joints and then they are finally transported as and when they finish upto a level to a centralised location or simply another location. And then further on.
      Wow, what logistics!
      When the country is too busy in tackling so many diverse problemos, then c’mon yaar, tu aur main mil kar hee naval aircraft carrier banaanaa shoorrooo karte hain.
      I must be mad. I am.